Commencement Exercises
by Ansy Pansy aka Panz
Summary: A different graduation Sandy’s brother 1987. And that means, yes, you guessed it – a trip to NYC, staying with The Nana, Kirsten pregnant with Seth…ooh the drama. Kandy and Cohens. Final chapter 9 up!
1. Prologue

Commencement Exercises

**Summary: **A different graduation; Sandy's brother 1987. And that means, yes, you guessed it – a trip to NYC, staying with The Nana, Kirsten pregnant with Seth…ooh the drama. Kandy and Cohens.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the O.C. shock horror. I'm sorry to disillusion you all but that's the truth.  
For Nana, not that she ever watched the O.C. but you never know. She and Sophie Cohen shared a wicked tongue in common. Gone but not gone. Love you.

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I slept on a sofa-bed in Wales and this was the result! If you think the Nana's a little harsh here's my reasoning – back then she wasn't as mellow as she is now, she didn't know Kirsten so well, she really resented her thinking that she was just messing Sandy around and she was also poorer then and bitter about being alone bringing up her kids. She's not really nasty, she just wants to test Kirsten and take out her frustrations on her.

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Prologue

Kirsten found Sandy sat hunched over a letter when she came home. She knew which letter it would be; she had picked it off the doormat that morning and worried about the New York postmark all day.

He glanced up as she leant against the doorframe and she was glad to see he looked unsure rather than upset.

'Your mom?'

'No. My brother.'

'Oh.' That was a whole different ballgame. Sandy and Dave had only just got their relationship back on track. He hadn't taken his older brother moving across the country very well and refused to talk to him for several years. Surprisingly enough he'd warmed to Kirsten, even coming to their wedding; she was obviously a better reason than Law School to stay in California.

'Are you gonna tell me, or do I have to read your mind?' she asked, walking over and sitting beside him on the bed.

'He's graduating.' Her husband held up two tickets bearing the name of his old high school and the words 'Commencement Exercises' in gilded letters.

'We're invited?'

'Yeah.'

'Do you want to go?'

'Well…'

'Sandy, if you want to go, go.'

'He's invited you too.'

'That's just to be polite,' Kirsten insisted quickly.

'No it's not. Davey's always liked you.'

'Only one of your family that does.'

He heard the slight unevenness in his wife's voice and hurried to comfort her, 'He has good taste and he specifically wrote to ask both of us.'

'But…your mom, and your sister, and it's a family thing. I'd just be in the way.'

'Kirsten, you're family. You and little-one in there,' he rubbed her stomach and she smiled. It was still hard to believe that there was a baby inside her, _their_ baby.

'I don't know, New York is a long way away.'

'You can fly till seven months.'

'I know. I'm trying to find excuses, you know that.'

'Yeah, I do. You don't _have_ to come but Davey wants you to, _I'd_ like you to.'

'Sandy…'

'I'm sorry, just think about it okay. Maybe you and my mom can make peace this time.'

'Sandy, she insulted my wedding dress at our wedding. I don't think we're gonna be able to become friends over your brother's graduation weekend.'

'You have a point.'

'I do.'

---

In the event Kirsten came. Somehow it was better to be able to hear Sandy's mother's insults firsthand, rather than having to second-guess why her husband was so edgy on his return. Plus she really didn't feel like being alone for an entire weekend. Call it the pregnancy hormones. And what if something went wrong? Better to suffer the Nana with Sandy than anything happen while he was all the way across the other side of the country. Still, it was with some very serious misgivings that she stepped on the plane. She was sensitive enough as it was at the moment and Sophie Cohen would be sure to cash in on being able to make her daughter-in-law cry at the drop of a hat.

'It'll be fine,' Sandy reassured her as they packed and again as they left for the airport. He repeated it at regular intervals throughout the eight hour flight, during the cab ride from La Guardia Airport to the Bronx and while they were waiting for an answer on the intercom of his mom's building.

'Hello?' the Nana responded sharply.

'Hey Ma, it's us.'

'Us being?'

'Sandy and Kirsten, let us in.'

'Fine. The elevators are broken by the way.'

'What?'

'The elevators…'

'No I heard, I was just complaining.'

'It's six flights Sanford, don't be pathetic.'

'I was thinking about Kirsten.'

'Why? Oh yes...well I'm sure she'll survive.'

Sandy grimaced but didn't retaliate. 'We'll see you soon.'

'The elevators are broken,' he told his wife as they stepped into the lobby.

'I heard, but it's fine. I'm perfectly capable of climbing stairs.'

'I just don't want you to over-exert yourself.'

'Well you're not carrying me. I'm pregnant not chronically ill.'

'You're pregnant which means you have to take care of yourself and I have to take care of you.'

'Oh so that's why we're visiting your mother.'

He sighed, 'We're visiting my _brother_ for his _graduation_.'

'Honey I was joking.' Kirsten smiled sweetly as Sandy scrunched his nose at her in mock annoyance, and leant in to kiss him. Several minutes passed until she broke away. 'As much as I hate to say it, your mother is probably wondering where we are and I don't really want to give her another reason to hate me.'

'She doesn't hate you.'

His wife didn't respond, heading for the stairs without him.

'Hey,' he called, picking up the bags he'd dropped as they kissed, 'not so fast! If we have to do the stairs we're doing them _slowly_.'

---

Shortly after eight pm East-Coast time, Sandy rapped smartly on the door of the apartment he had once called home with one hand, the other intertwined with Kirsten's. There was a moment's pause before it swung open to reveal his mother wearing a false smile and an apron. Kirsten wondered if Sophie had put it on specially to make her feel inadequate.

'Sanford,' she exclaimed, pulling him into a hug which forced him to release his wife's hand. Kirsten resigned herself to sharing him for the weekend.

'And Kirsten,' the Nana's voice lost its lilt as she leant stiffly forward to greet her daughter-in-law.

Luckily Kirsten was practised in the art of air kissing and pretending to actually like the recipient.

'It's lovely to see you Mrs Cohen.'

'Mmm I'm sure.'

'Ma,' Sandy said warningly and his mother ushered them inside.

'Your sister and her husband are in the sitting room and dinner's almost ready,' she called over her shoulder as she headed back into the kitchen.

Sandy smiled encouragingly at Kirsten as they went to greet Jess and Bill.

'Well look who it is,' a tired-looking, dark-haired girl exclaimed as they walked in.

'Hey sis, hey Bill.'

'Hey,' Kirsten mimicked.

Bill nodded to them. He was the strong, silent type, minus the strong.

'How're the kids?' Sandy asked, flopping into a chair, Kirsten perching awkwardly on the arm.

'Little menaces as per usual,' Jess declared. 'If you weren't already having one I'd tell you not to bother.'

Sandy laughed but Kirsten didn't really find it funny.

'And talking of that, Kirsten, you're looking…'

'Doesn't she look well,' Sandy interjected.

'I was going to say big.'

The awkward silence that was about to ensure was diverted by the arrival of the youngest Cohen.

'Sandy! Kirsten!' he yelled. 'You made it.'

'Of course we did. Weren't about to miss your graduation Davey-boy.'

'_Dave_,' the boy corrected, rolling his eyes as Sandy ruffled his hair.

'Aw you're always gonna be our little Davey.'

'Quit winding him up,' Kirsten chastised.

'KiCo,' Dave exclaimed, using the nickname he had masterminded at their wedding. 'How's my favourite sister-in-law?'

'I'm your only sister-in-law,' she said laughing and accepting a genuine hug. 'But I'm fine.'

'And my newest niece-or-nephew? You know you guys really have to find out whether it's a girl or a boy, the suspense is killing me.'

Sandy grinned, 'You'll just have to learn to live with it; we're keeping it a surprise.'

'He or she has stopped making me sick which is a relief.'

'Well you're looking fabulous.'

'Thanks. So more importantly how are you? Graduation, big day huh?'

Kirsten began to relax as she chatted with David, always known as Davey or Dave because no one wanted to be reminded of David Cohen Senior, but all too soon it was time for dinner and she had to face the rest of the Cohen clan in the enclosed space around the table.

---

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Well I promised and here I am! Let me know what you think.

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	2. Class

Commencement Exercises

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Here is chapter two. I am gonna post up to 3 before I have to leave. Then I'll be away until 20/21 July but almost all of this story is written so hopefully I will have finished off the little bits in the next few chapters and post them up then. I leave again on the 25th for two weeks so I will post the remaining chapters on 7th August and then I will post up the rest of my new fics fast I promise!

So basically. Don't scream for updates cause I won't be here to listen!  
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Class

To Kirsten's relief dinner passed off without incident. She had Sandy and Dave to thank for that; they talked pretty much non-stop meaning the Cohen females didn't really have the opportunity to aim insidious comments at Kirsten. However she figured that the pair of them making up for it later was pretty much a given. After the meal, Bill and his mother-in-law slipped out onto the fire-escape for a covert cigarette while Sandy declared he and Dave were on washing-up duty. Kirsten loitered uneasily, offering to dry but was shooed away by her husband. 'Why don't you get Jess to let you take a decko at the kids?' he suggested, turning to his sister. 'Kirsten hasn't seen her niece and nephew yet.'

'Yeah sure,' Jess agreed diffidently, slowly getting to her feet and indicating to Kirsten to follow her. The room at the end of the hall was in darkness but Jess didn't hesitate in flipping on the light.

'Won't it wake them up?' Kirsten questioned.

Her sister-in-law smirked, 'You really aren't ready for kids yet are ya? Once they're off they'll pretty much sleep through anything, it's the getting them to sleep in the first place that's the problem.' She'd crossed to the far side of the room as she spoke, bending over the travel cot in the corner. Kirsten followed suit, peeping in at the rosy-cheeked baby inside.

'So this is Max?'

'Uhu. And that's Massie.'

Kirsten watched in self-conscious admiration as the other woman knelt beside the mattress and smoothed hair out of the little girl's face.'

'They're both gorgeous,' she told their mother honestly.

'When they're asleep.'

'So...'

'She's four,' Jess answered, pre-empting the question. 'And Max is eighteen months.'

'You were pretty young when you had her right?'

'Yeah, about your age.'

'Were you…were you scared?'

Jess glanced sideways at the younger girl. 'Not really. I mean, a couple of my friends had already been through it all. It wasn't really that big a deal.'

'Oh.'

'Does Sandy know you're this scared?'

'I'm not…'

'Kirsten.'

'Please don't say anything. He's so excited and I'm just apprehensive that's all.'

'I would tell you that the hard part's over after you give birth but I'd probably be lying.'

Kirsten swallowed and attempted a laugh. 'They must be worth it though.'

'I guess.'

Jess studied Kirsten as she watched the children sleep, noting how she eyed the baby in the cot fearfully, as though expecting him to wake up and cry at any moment. She softened as she looked at Massie though, smiling at the curled-up figure.

'You want a girl don't you?'

'I…as long as they're healthy I don't mind.'

'Yeah, that's what everyone says who secretly wants one or the other.'

'It's not like I don't want a boy, it's just. I'm a girl so I figured a girl's gotta be easier.'

'You know, I thought that. I also thought I couldn't love a second baby as much as Massie, that I had the perfect little girl and a boy just wouldn't be as good or something stupid like that but…he's my little man. You love them, whatever they're like.'

'Wh-what if you don't? What if you just don't?'

'Everyone does.' Jess answered, ignoring the hint of panic in Kirsten's tone.

'I don't understand how can love someone you don't even know. It takes me a long time to get to know people and…'

'Really? You got to know Sandy pretty quick.'

'Sandy's different. This baby…what if I don't love it?'

'Then…you're screwed,' was Jess' comforting answer as she flicked the switch and plunged the room into darkness again.

Kirsten sighed as they walked back up the hallway, she was gonna suck at the whole motherhood thing.

---

The kitchen was empty but by the sound of things Dave was in his room listening to music, Bill was in the shower and Sandy and Mrs Cohen were arguing in the sitting room. The latter stopped abruptly as she entered. Her husband was frowning, his mother smiling. Not a good sign. The small room was now filled by a pull-out sofa-bed, the pillows of which Sophie was plumping vigorously.

'Kirsten, I hope you can cope with the sofa-bed in here,' she said, false warmth in her voice. 'Sandy's in Davey's old room.'

Her son folded his arms, 'And we can't both sleep there because?'

'Single bed Sanford, you might have picked a skinny California girl but not _that_ skinny.'

'Kirsten's the perfect size.'

'Yes, now she's pregnant.'

Sandy exhaled crossly.

'Don't fuss Sandy, it's fine,' Kirsten threatened her husband under her breath. 'I'm sure the sofa will be perfect. Thank you,' she finished to his mother.

Sophie Cohen gave a tight smile and exited. Sandy sank down onto the fold-out bed which creaked unpromisingly. 'I'm sorry honey. I'll sleep here.'

'No I'll manage.'

'Kirsten please, you need a decent night's sleep.'

'As do you.'

'Not as much as you. Go.'

'Your mother said I was to sleep in here.'

'I don't know what's gotten into her.'

'It's obvious what she's doing.'

'And that is?'

'She's just trying to make me uncomfortable…'

'Yeah, that bed is impossible to sleep on.'

'That's not what I meant. She's trying to expose me as spoilt and I'm not gonna give in.'

'She's just being pedantic because she knows she can. Any excuse to control my life.'

'She can't help fussing. Most of the time you live miles away.'

'Thank god.'

'Sandy!'

'Fine, you win.'

---

Sandy saw his wife's head whip round on her pillow as the floorboard creaked beneath him.

'Oh Sandy,' she breathed, 'you scared me.'

He smiled impishly as he slid in beside her. 'Who did you think it was?'

'Your mom is gonna kill us if she finds you here.'

'Mmm well I think it's worth it,' he answered, sliding an arm round her.

'You couldn't sleep?'

'Not without you. I see you're awake too.'

'Oh that's just because of the time difference.'

'Don't be a smartass.'

Kirsten giggled and shifted position so she could lie against Sandy's chest. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

---

Sophie Cohen stood in the doorway of her sitting room and eyed the figures asleep on the sofa-bed, her arms folded across her chest mutinously. She should have known there was no way her besotted son would spend the night without his wife when she was only two doors down the hall. Sophie glowered at the blonde head, barely visible tucked up against Sandy's chest. His arm was wrapped tightly around her. She wondered, fleetingly, if she was jealous, jealous of her son loving someone more than her, jealous of the love the pair shared, but rejected the idea. What she resented, thought was downright stupid, was that her own son had fallen for the faux charms of the honey-haired, honey-skinned, honey-toned Kirsten. _Her_ Sandy.

That boy. He had more than his fair share of the brains in the family and yet he chose Kirsten. Kirsten Nichol, princess of princesses from Newport Beach no less. Sophie wasn't stupid, she'd dug around. Caleb Nichol might have a business empire on the West Coast but his reputation went a lot further. She knew how much he was alleged to be worth. And it just made her resent Kirsten all the more.

What could a girl who had always have everything want with Sandy and what did her son want with a spoilt, stuck-up girl like Kirsten? Not that Kirsten showed much sign of acting the part she was born to but that didn't matter. Someone being as _nice_ as Kirsten about everything; veiling hurt eyes with smiles at their insults, blinking back tears and agreeing that the make-shift bed would be 'perfect', was obviously good at pretending. She longed for her to answer back for once, stand-up for herself; she seemed intelligent enough, why didn't she? But perhaps she was wrong and Kirsten was a dumb California blonde after all.

---

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Thanks so much for reading!

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	3. Of

Commencement Exercises

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Updating really fast before I leave. I seriously AM sorry that you've got to wait for this!

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Of

Sandy was woken by the sound of clattering pans, the dull thud of crockery being set down purposefully loudly and the whistle of the kettle. He slid out of Kirsten's grasp wishing the springs were both less noisy and less prominent. Having slept through the racket issuing from the kitchen his wife immediately roused when she realised she was alone in bed, typical. He leant over her, pressing kisses to her eyelids. 'Shh sleeping beauty, you go back to sleep.'

Kirsten wrinkled her nose and rolled into the warm dell he had left, cuddling the sheets around her. 'Cold now,' she muttered before drifting back off.

He stood for a moment watching her sleep, a mixture of emotions scurrying across his face; smiles of pride and awe, smudges of doubt, disbelief, shades of excitement and anxiety as his eyes shifted towards the bump hidden by the bedclothes, and love, a hell of a lot of love.  
More noise startled him from his reverie and sent him hurrying to the kitchen before the din could disturb the angel currently sleeping in his bed.

His mother was washing dishes in a rather exuberant manner, banging them triumphantly on the drainer when they were done. It was clearly evident what she trying to do but he knew better than to come right out and confront her about it. She'd probably storm into the sitting room and fold up the sofa bed, Kirsten with it.

'Good morning,' he ventured, stretching out and groaning as his back protested. 'Maybe…not so good…back is…killing me.'

The Nana turned to him, eyebrows raised, lips pursed, 'I see the pair of you didn't last long in separate beds.'

Her son looked guilty for a split second before asking, 'Did you expect us to?'

'Well,' the Nana reasoned with herself. 'I guess not; you're soppy that way.'

'We're in love.'

'Love! Love isn't much good for a bad back, seems to cause them.'

'And whose fault is that?'

'Your own for sleeping on that rickety old thing instead of a perfectly decent bed.'

'That bed was cold and lonely and you made Kirsten sleep on the sofa.'

'So she punished you by making you suffer it too?'

'Ma! It was nothing like that. _She _was the one worried about you catching us.'

'Humph,' she responded, turning back to the sink.

'I wanted to sleep there; neither of us sleep well alone. I couldn't sleep until I had her beside me; it's just…difficult to suddenly sleep without someone you know.'

Sophie looked pensive for a moment before her face hardened. 'Yes I do. But come on Sandy, you've only been married a year.'

'Two years.'

'Apples and pears. It's still an incredibly short time to get so attached.'

'We love each other.'

'So I've heard.'

'What now? Why are you being so awkward about this?'

'I just…don't trust her.'

'Well I _do_.'

'You're a fool.'

'_I'm_ going for a shower,' Sandy said, walking away from the argument he didn't want to have.

---

'Uh Sandy, I think the morning sickness is back,' Kirsten groaned without looking up from her position knelt on the bathroom floor. It was an hour or so later and her first day in New York wasn't getting off to a particularly auspicious start.

'Sandy's gone out to get some milk,' her mother-in-law's voice replied causing her to sigh inaudibly.

Great. Now she was alone with Sophie Cohen.

'Oh. Did you want the bathroom? Sorry. Hopefully I'll be done in a minute.'

'It's pretty late to be still having morning sickness,' Sophie observed, leaning against the doorframe.

Kirsten glanced round and sighed again, realising it looked like the Nana was settling in for the long haul.

'I-I don't know. Is it?'

'Well it varies.'

Kirsten didn't answer, ducking back over the toilet.

'Do you want anything?' Mrs Cohen's sweet tone put her immediately on her guard.

'Huh?'

'Glass of water, saltine crackers, termination?'

'What?'

'It's never crossed your mind?'

'No!' Kirsten was almost speechless. 'I-I…wh…we both want this baby.'

'Really?'

'Yes. You know Sandy wants a big family.'

'Oh Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. Of course I know he does. I'm talking about you.'

'Well, I uh…'

'You what Kirsten? Never really wanted kids but thought this might be good way to keep a hold of my son once the novelty had worn off and he realised you were the last person on earth he was meant to be with?'

Kirsten forced herself to flush the toilet calmly. She stood up and moved the basin, keeping her back to the door, refusing to let the older woman see how much she was getting to her.

'You know, when the pair of you got married I thought you must be pregnant. I hoped you were because then at least Sandy had an excuse for being such a fool.'

She almost choked at that, hurriedly spitting out water.

'Yes?' Sophie asked, smirking at the reaction.

Kirsten didn't answer, forcing herself to breathe slowly. Don't listen to her. Don't listen. She only wants to rile you. And she's succeeding.

Kirsten reached for a towel to dry her hands and face, breathing in the scent of the washing powder in the hope it would calm her.

'But then again, I wouldn't put it past you to have lied about it. Maybe you invented a scare to make him propose, maybe even earlier, when you first went out. Or did something really happen? Your rich boyfriend knocked you up, wouldn't marry you so you duped Sandy into thinking it was his and then you lost it…of course, he'd never tell me that.'

'No, he wouldn't, because there's nothing to tell. Maybe you should talk to him. Obviously he'd never told you that _he_ was the one who did the chasing.'

'That's no to abortion then.'

'Don't talk about _our_ child, _your grandchild_ like that. I would _never_ hurt this baby so don't even _think _it,' Kirsten forced out between clenched teeth, her icy voice just masking the shudder beneath it.

And with that she turned unsteadily on her heel and walked out, leaving a surprised mother-in-law behind her.

---

Kirsten let herself quietly out of the apartment so she could cry in peace in the stairwell. She sat on the stairs one floor down so that Sandy's mom couldn't see her if she happened to be spying through the peephole. Mrs Cohen couldn't possibly believe all the things she'd said, she reasoned to herself, she was simply trying to hurt Kirsten. Everyone knew that she loved Sandy and everyone knew he loved her right back, right? It was only his sister and mother and her father that thought anything different.

Sandy loved her. He told her every day. And he knew she loved him so much it hurt didn't he? She loved him so much she knew she would have as many children as he wanted even though she was scared enough about this one.

Still, that knowledge didn't do much to dissipate the bitter feeling inside at Sophie Cohen's words, or fully smother the knots of uncertainty in her stomach. And so Kirsten Cohen continued to sit on the stairs and cry until her husband came back.

That was a couple of minutes later, the whistling and carefree swinging of the bag containing the milk stopping abruptly as he caught sight of a huddled form leaning against the banister, blonde head resting on knees, body twitching with sobs.

'Hey,' he said worriedly, dropping to his knees on the step below her, the milk clanking ominously as he did so. 'Hey, hey, honey what's wrong?'

Kirsten tried to fight the gentle fingers forcing her face up to meet his anxious gaze but failed miserably.

'Aw sweetie, don't cry,' he told her, pulling her towards him. She pressed her damp face into his chest and took long, shuddering breaths.

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be sorry; just tell me what's going on.'

'Just…hormones,' she muttered into his shirt.

'Mmmhmm. It wasn't ma or Jess then?'

Kirsten didn't answer and he knew it was.

'Which one?'

'It doesn't matter.'

'Yes it does. Now I'm guessing it was my mother because Jess is out with the kids. What she say?'

Another silence.

'Look, if you're not gonna tell me I'll just go ask her.'

'Sandy don't!' she begged, gripping his hand so he couldn't leave. 'Don't say anything.'

'She made you cry. How can I possibly not say anything?'

'She doesn't know that,' Kirsten whispered. 'I didn't cry till I got out here.'

'Aw honey,' he said shifting to sit beside her and sliding his arms round her. 'You don't have to be strong all the time, you're allowed to cry.'

'Not in front of your mother; that's what she wants and I won't give her the satisfaction.'

Her husband kissed her forehead. 'You're stubborn.'

'And you're not?'

'I was born that way.'

'Well so was I, or maybe living with Caleb Nichol made me.'

They laughed slightly together and Kirsten dropped her head onto his shoulder.

'You know I love you right?'

'Yeah. I love you too.'

'Promise.'

'What _has_ my mother being saying to you?'

'It doesn't matter, just promise.'

'I promise I love you.'

'And that you know I love you.'

Sandy rolled his eyes but complied, 'I promise that I know you love me.'

She smiled and kissed him but he broke away.

'You promise me first.'

'I promise.'

'Promise what?'

'I promise that I love you and I know you love me.'

'Well that's settled.' Sandy declared, lifting his hands to cup Kirsten's face and kissing her passionately.

'Oh please you two,' Dave moaned, running up the stairs two at a time past his brother and his wife who were edging into foreplay territory, 'get a room.'

'We would,' Sandy called after him, 'but the only free one was yours and we didn't think you'd appreciate it!'

---

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Thanks for all the reviews. I will reply when I'm next home I promise!

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	4. 1

Commencement Exercises

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Well I'm back, only for a couple of days but at least I'm here and posting! Have had the most amazing and crazy time in Mallorca and on the cruise! Spain next with my US friends YAY! Hopefully I will get quite a lot of this fic posted up before I leave, if not, there are several other chapters of things!

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1

'Kirsten and I are gonna go grab a bite to eat,' Sandy called into the apartment. His mother appeared in the hallway, eyebrows raised.

'You're going out?'

'Yeah, well Kirsten didn't have breakfast so…'

'And when are we going to spend some time together?'

'When can you get me alone to complain about my lifestyle you mean?'

'I don't…'

'You do, passing judgement on my job, my wife, our home…'

'That's a mother's prerogative.'

'A mother is meant to be happy for her son.'

'Mothers worry.'

'You meddle. What happened with Kirsten this morning?'

'The little tattle-tale been talking about me?'

'No, _actually_. She didn't want me to say anything but I know my wife and you obviously upset her.'

'We simply talked about the baby. She's hormonal, get used to it.'

Sandy narrowed his eyes, 'If you're going to insult our unborn child, could you please do it to me rather than Kirsten.'

'Where's the fun in that? Joking, joking!' the Nana teased. 'Although I won't deny we need to talk about it. I have a couple of concerns about the child's upbringing.'

'No doubt you do,' her son muttered.

'Pardon?'

'Nothing ma, you and I can talk as much as you like this afternoon and tomorrow okay?'

'I guess that will have to do.'

'What now?'

'Oh nothing, I just know where I stand.'

'And that means what precisely?'

'Kirsten comes first. Kirsten and that illegitimate child.'

'It's not like we're unmarried.'

'Might as well be; interfaith ceremony pft! He or she won't be properly Jewish.'

'We are not discussing this now; I have a hungry pregnant woman waiting for me.'

'Just go Sandy.'

'Fine,' He walked out, letting the door close noisily behind him.

'Of course, can't keep Princess Kirsten waiting.'

---

Kirsten and Sandy were sat in the lounge taking advantage of the fact that they could relax for half an hour or so. Sandy's sister, niece and nephew were still out, his brother-in-law was at work and his mom had popped out for some extra groceries for the celebratory dinner later that night. Dave was holed up in his room and unlikely to venture out and disturb them after what he had witnessed earlier. Cue a lot of rather heavy making out and lovey-dovey discussions.

'I love you,' Sandy murmured when his wife broke their most recent kiss.

'I love you more.'

'You know, I'd love you more if you did me a favour…'

'Mmmhmm?'

'Iron my dress pants?'

'I told you to pack them carefully,' she chastised, eyes laughing.

'I did…they just, got creased.'

'You're just lucky I love you that much.'

'Thanks honey.'

'Actually it's because I have to iron my dress anyway.'

'Oh, so now you tell me.'

Kirsten got up slowly and carefully, 'Go find an iron; I'll grab your pants.'

'Kirsten Cohen, don't talk dirty.'

'Sandy! That's not even funny.'

---

Kirsten had the strangest feeling that she was being watched, she glanced round from her position at the ironing board but the doorway appeared empty. She turned back and focused on the folds of her husband's pants. She might be a disaster in the kitchen but at least she had _some_ housewifely skills. Too bad ironing was _the _most boring task in the world. It certainly didn't occupy her enough; the feeling persisted. She set the iron down and turned round properly. There, at the edge of the doorframe, about two foot up was an inquisitive face, a pair of large blue eyes watching her unblinkingly.

'Hello.'

'You're Kirsten,' the little girl said, edging into the room.

'And you're Massie. It's nice to meet you; you were asleep when we got here last night.'

Kirsten watched warily as Massie clambered up onto the sofa, before gingerly continuing to iron.

'You came with Uncle Sandy?'

'Yeah,' Kirsten answered, wondering whether, even at four, Massie would follow the rest of her family in disliking her. You never knew; Sophie might have brainwashed her.

'So you're my aunt.'

'I guess so.'

'You're pretty.'

'Thanks.'

'But your tummy sticks out.'

Kirsten laughed. 'That's because I'm going to have a baby,' she told her, quickly realising she could be heading into dangerous territory and hurrying to continue. 'And he or she will be your cousin.'

'My cousin?'

'That's right.'

Kirsten smiled, glad to have found another Cohen who could stand to be around her. She finished pressing her dress and moved on to Sandy's dress pants, a fiddly job due to the creases down the legs; Sandy liked them to be neat. Her niece continued to chatter, Kirsten interjecting suitable responses at certain points while actually concentrating on the task at hand. Obviously these replies became less than adequate because suddenly Massie was beside her, tugging on the cord of the iron and whining. The iron was stood on end as Kirsten re-adjusted one of the pants' folds and there was nothing to stop it falling.

'Massie!' Kirsten shrieked in fright as the iron toppled from the board, grabbing the little arm and hauling her away. The child cried out, startled.

'Don't _ever_ do that again. You could have been seriously hurt,' her aunt scolded.

Massie shrank back, eyes filling with tears. 'I don't like you anymore,' she declared before running out of the room. Kirsten dropped into the armchair, fighting tears herself. Damn being so hormonal, damn being useless with children, and damn being totally unprepared for this baby.

Sandy of course chose that moment to make his appearance. 'Oh Kirsten, what now?'

'Don't say it like that,' she snapped back at him, getting up and returning to the ironing board.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean…' Sandy sighed, winding his arms around his wife and hugging her back towards him. 'What's wrong?'

'Think I just ostracised one of the three members of your family that like me.'

'Huh?' he questioned, pressing kisses to the back of her neck and making her shiver.

'Massie nearly had an accident, I told her off. She didn't appreciate it.'

'Kirsten honey, she's four-years-old, it'll be fine.' The kisses began gliding up behind her ear. She rotated in his arms so she could face him.

'Sure?'

'In ten minutes all will be forgotten,' Sandy was insistent, muting her doubtful protest with a full-on kiss, his hands working their way under her top. Kirsten looped her arms around his neck, fingers winding in his hair and let herself be carried away by his touch, his taste, the comfort of his caress, the feel of his mouth, his tongue, against her own. But all too soon the realisation that they were stood in his mom's sitting room came back to her.

'Sandy,' she breathed, breaking away.  
He didn't answer, trying to regain her lips with his.

'Your mom is just down the hall.'

'Uhu and the problem is?

With perfect timing the Nana's voice rang out, 'Sandy! Kirsten! It's gone very quiet; you better not be kissing in front of my poor defenceless grandchild.'

'Massie's not in here,' Sandy hollered back, denying nothing. The response was a loud characteristic 'humph'.

Kirsten flushed and tried to extricate herself from his grasp but he pulled her closer. 'I miss you,' he whispered, warm breath tickling her ear.

'Sandy, it's three days, I think you can manage.'

'No. Can't,' was the anguished response.

'Exactly. We _can't_.' Kirsten could hear the tinge of regret in her own voice as her husband placed butterfly kisses across her collarbone.

'But…'

'What is up with you?' she asked laughing. 'Go take a shower. A cold one.'

Sandy chuckled and reluctantly released Kirsten, his hand stroking slowly down her back, lingering over her ass as he left.

---

Sandy was stood in his boxers and a half-buttoned shirt when she padded into the room that he should have slept in last night.

'Hey.' He smiled broadly at his wife who was still damp around the edges from the shower and wearing nothing but a near-indecent towel.

'Hey yourself.' She noticed her clothes laid out on the bed and smiled too. 'Oh, thanks honey.'

'You're welcome. Will you do my tie?'

'With pleasure.' Kirsten tucked her towel a little tighter around herself and grasped the ends of Sandy's tie, pulling him towards her.

'He-llo,' he purred, his hands immediately seeking out the ends of the towel.

'Sandy,' she responded warningly, fiddling with the tie.

'Yes honey?' The tone was innocent, betrayed by the wandering hands.

'Sandy!

'What? Bill and Jess took Massie and Max to the park on the way there, Ma went early to get good seats, Davey left hours ago…'

She tried unsuccessfully to concentrate on her task as Sandy's hands parted, one moving upwards, the other tantalisingly slowly downwards 'I-I know but…'

'But what?'

Kirsten let go of the tie, and tried to grasp the hands through her towel. 'We don't have time for this. We're going to be late.' Her husband, resenting the curtailing of his activities, resisted her attempts, the towel loosening in the process.

'Well let's be late.'

Before she could reply he had shifted his attention to her face, leaning in and kissing her fervently.

She twisted her head away, breathless. 'It's your brother's graduation; you have to be there…'

Kirsten's diatribe was cut off by another kiss.

'And on time…'

Kiss

'Cohen…'

'That's me.' Sandy agreed teasingly

'_Cohen_ is at the start of the alphabet.'

'But right now I have to be here,' he told her, his kisses slipping from her mouth down to her chest as his hands continued on their path.

'Doing what precisely?' she asked, even though she knew full well what he was doing. Not that she could stop it. Or wanted to.

'You.'

'You know, you make it…really…hard…to argue with you?' she breathed, arching her back as his fingers reached their destination and causing the towel to slide, unchecked to the floor. Sandy smiled at that.

'I had that suspicion.'

---

---

Surprisingly enough this almost got really smutty. Perhaps it will, if you guys push me enough. Seems to me like things have got rather hot and heavy around fanfiction . net recently have they not? So maybe I could get away with putting it here…I mean it's only sex right, as opposed to anything deeply disturbing. Lol! Anyway review this chapter and let me know what you want for the next however it will mean a delay in getting the next chapter while I write some smut (the rest of the fic is finished!). The choice is yours!

---


	5. 9

Commencement Exercises

---

Warning, this is a short smutty chapter. If smut offends you please don't read this.

NB. IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO READ THIS TO UNDERSTAND THE REST OF THE FIC. Events in this chapter have no bearing on what happens next; it's just an insert. I haven't changed the rating because it's not particularly explicit and does not involve adverse themes etc. If you do read it, you have been warned.

---

9

Kirsten rolled her eyes at her husband, grasping the tie again and pulling him back up to kiss her. He complied eagerly, his fingers continuing to tease her. She moaned into his mouth, sliding her own hands southward to struggle with his shirt.

'Careful,' he warned as she became impatient with the buttons, 'this is the only shirt I have with me.'

She giggled, 'Well if you would stop distracting me…'

'Oh, so it's like that is it?' Much to her disappointment Sandy did just that, letting her remove his shirt unimpeded.

'I didn't mean you had to,' she whined as the feeling he had been causing subsided.

'I can't win can I?' he pretended to complain, shrugging his shirt off and replacing his hands round her waist so he could manhandle her across the room. They hit the bed end and Sandy gently lowered his naked wife onto it. He stood between her legs, leaning over her but resisting her attempts to pull him down also, enjoying the sight. Her arms were pinned to the bed so she couldn't move away despite attempting it, embarrassed by his scrutiny.

'Sandy,' she protested, trying and failing to raise herself up enough to kiss him.

'You're beautiful,' he told her.

'Thank you, now stop being an ass.'

'Me?' he asked, dropping the lightest of kisses on her lips. 'Not me?'

'Yes you,' she insisted, not satisfied.

'No, surely not me,' he murmured running kisses across her face, down her neck and along her collarbones.

'Maybe…not so much now,' she amended as he picked up where he had left off earlier; returning his lips to her breasts. He released her arms meaning she could smooth her hands sensuously up and down his toned back, pressing him to move closer but he resisted, liking being able to watch the shivers run across her skin, making her rounded stomach tremble slightly. He kissed his way over the bump, glancing up at Kirsten as he did so. She'd propped herself up on her elbows and was smiling at him.

'I hope you've told him or her to close their eyes,' he said, pausing in his activity.

'Sandy! You know…we do this way too often…'

'We do not!'

'I meant…in front of the baby. He or she is probably scarred.'

'Aw come on honey, it's not even born and I think it deserves it. We won't exactly have much alone time after he or she arrives.'

'You have a point.'

'I do, now where I was I?' He scrutinised his wife's body for a moment before kissing her belly button which made her giggle and continuing downwards. Meanwhile his hands began to trail up her legs, soft, feather-light touches beginning at her knees where they were bent over the side of the bed and trailing torturously slowly up her golden thighs. It came as a surprise when he lifted them in one swift movement over his shoulders. He lingered there, breath tickling her, driving her crazy with anticipation. When it did come, the kiss was unexpected, the delving of his tongue eliciting a whimper that only served to spur him on. Already feverish from his fingers, Kirsten barely lasted two gasps before chastising her husband as he teased, tempting her right to the edge then backing off and leaving her hanging, suspended in space. It brought a smile to his face when she collapsed backwards, unable to hold herself up any longer, desperate for the release he refused to give her yet.

Sandy gently extricated himself from between her legs, unable to prevent his smile growing to a grin as he noticed Kirsten glaring at him. He was about to manoeuvre himself beside her when she sat up, albeit still a little shakily, and pressed him back. Puzzled he complied, standing as she shuffled slightly to sit on the edge of the bed, smiling wickedly. Distracting him all to well with fluttering eyelashes and pouting lips, he leant to kiss her to find himself trapped; one hand ridding him of his boxers, the other already inside making remonstration impossible and unnecessary. Teasing was pretty much superfluous by now but she did it anyway, turning him on even more. Her soft hands were making it hard to stay upright but when she dropped her head to him, soft lips and warm mouth harsher, more insistent, he suddenly couldn't see straight either. The hands buried in her golden hair began to tremble slightly and he could feel his body tighten in anticipation. He tried ease her away, swallowing thickly, but to no avail, Kirsten refused to yield until he was spent, breathing heavily and forced to lean against her. She looked up at him, features awash with a smug expression and he laughed.

'You're bad,' he told her.

She pouted. 'Really?'

'Uhu. So bad you're good.'

He bent to kiss her before letting himself topple sideways onto the bed.

'Coming?' he asked his wife who was still sat upright, offering his hand. Kirsten turned and crawled towards his prostrate form, straddling it and working her way upwards from his feet. She stopped, resting over his knees and leant forward, lips skimming him and beginning to return him to hardness.

'I love being pregnant,' she declared, 'means I get to be in control.'

'Like you're not anyway,' Sandy muttered, distracted by the fact that she was nestling over his hips.

'Watch it or I'll leave you like this.

'Kirsten!' he protested in an anguished whisper as she began toying with him until he was rapidly approaching the edge again. She leant forward, rubbing herself against him, Sandy turning the tables by stroking down her back, over her ass and up again, sliding round to brush over her breasts before he caught her face in his hands and kissed her hard. Succumbing to his touches, her arousal peaked once more making her relent in her teasing. She lifted herself slightly, letting him enter her, both sighing at the familiar feeling, the pressure, the friction as they moved together. Kirsten rocked, slowly at first, eyes open watching her husband watching her. As he sensed her relaxing, settling into a rhythm as they moved in concert, he began to challenge it; thrusting against her so his wife's hips bucked in response, bringing them closer together. Sandy felt things speed up, his body flooding with warmth, and shut his eyes, fighting with himself. It was difficult to control his breathing with Kirsten panting and gasping above him, the sounds sending tremors of pleasure and stimulation around his body, blood rushing not just to his head. She was close, very close. He moved a little roughly, rewarded by the sound of his name drawn out in a climactic moan, her back arching, body shuddering.

She felt herself tumbling forward but this time meeting Sandy rather than emptiness and soaring upwards, not the opposite direction, calling his name.

With intense relief he felt Kirsten's release, steeling himself to let her almost finish before allowing himself the pleasure, hoping to extend hers. He was lost for several seconds before regaining enough awareness to capture a little of the previous momentum and bringing them both down slowly. Kirsten fell forwards in reality, resting against his chest for several seconds before having to roll sideways to accommodate her slightly extended stomach. That was something she missed, lying skin against skin, pressed up against him afterwards. Lying beside him wasn't the same. His eyes caressed her lovingly as he watched her come down from her high; eyes shut, face flushed, tousled hair spread about her, heavy breathing hitching in her chest. Her eyes flickered open a few moments later, unfocused and smiling, hazy with satisfaction. They focused on the clock behind him on the dresser and suddenly the misty expression was replaced with one of anxiety.

Kirsten launched herself off the bed with a startled exclamation and demands for Sandy to do the same.

'We're going to be so, so late,' she complained.

'I'm late, I'm late for a very important date,' he quoted, laughing.

His wife was not amused. 'This is your fault Sanford Cohen.'

'If I remember rightly _you_ were the one who undressed _me_.'

'Only because I wasn't already dressed. I can't believe you distracted me so long.'

'It was worth it wasn't it?'

'Well yes…I mean…hurry _up_!' was the response as she began dressing frantically.

Her husband copied her actions in a more relaxed manner.

'Calm down honey.'

'Calm down? Your mother is going to skin me alive if we walk into your brother's graduation ten minutes late.'

'That clock is fast,' Sandy told her. 'Ma always sets them that way so you think you're late and end up being early.'

'Trust your mother.'

'Indeed…so it means there's no rush,' he said, leaning in for a kiss.

'No Sandy, _no_! We can only just make it as it is.'

Her husband laughed, stealing one chaste kiss and relenting, hurriedly dressing. It wasn't only his wife who feared the sharp tongue of The Nana.

---

Well there it is. The Smutage!

---


	6. 8

Commencement Exercises

---

And here is chapter six as well for people who didn't want to read the smut

---

8

They made it, flushed and breathless to their seats in the High School hall a mere twenty seconds before the ceremony began. Kirsten gave Sandy a pointed look as the introductory speech filtered out over the PA system but her simply grinned and leant to kiss her until his sister dug him with her elbow. Kirsten flushed beetroot but smiled as her husband took her hand instead, lacing their fingers together and gently rubbing her thumb. She loved how he couldn't sit beside her without touching, whether it was reaching for her hand, tangling their feet together under a table, an arm around her shoulders or her waist, or a hand sliding dangerously up her thigh. And she relished the touch, the comfort, the tingles that would flood across her skin. She had thought that was something that soon faded; Sandy seemed set to prove her wrong.

Sandy squeezed her hand momentarily before the clapping began and they relinquished their hold to applaud as the graduating class began to file out to receive their diplomas. There wasn't long to wait before Cohen, David was called and Sophie clicked away furiously with the camera.

'Go Davey!' Sandy hollered, making his brother duck his head in embarrassment as he left the podium clutching his diploma, a shock of black hair so like Sandy's falling into his eyes.

'Imagine when our kid is graduating,' he murmured to her as the list of names continued, lips brushing her ear and making her want him all over again. How the hell could he do that with the lightest of the touches, the softest voice, the most innocent words?

Kirsten struggled with the idea her husband had mentioned. She could barely process the idea of having a child and being a mother, never mind imagining them finishing High School.

---

'Well Davey-boy, you made it!' Sandy pulled his little brother into a bear hug. 'Aw my baby bro is graduating, it makes you fill up,' he declared, pretending to weep dramatically. Kirsten slapped him playfully and Sandy released Dave.

'Congratulations,' Kirsten said, kissing the boy on the cheek.

'Thanks Kirsten,' he mumbled, flushing red.

'Actually you just make me feel old,' Sandy told his brother. 'So now you're in big trouble.'

'Trouble?' Dave retorted, 'Don't think I didn't see you sneak in late.'

'Kirsten wasn't feeling well, it delayed us a little.'

'Uh…yeah right. The pair of you had grins the size of Manhattan across your faces. I can't believe you have a kid on the way and you're still at it.' It was Kirsten's turn to blush.

'Aw bro, look at her,' Sandy countered, slipping an arm round his wife's waist. 'How could I not?'

'Sandy!' Kirsten exclaimed but her protest was cut short by his lips meeting hers.

They were interrupted by his mother, shooing them apart and insisting on photographs. First the graduate was subject to endless pictures by his mother and friends, much to his embarrassment and Sandy grumbled that he and Kirsten could have been left to kiss in peace. But of course, that wasn't Sophie Cohen's style. He settled for drawing her close again and pressing a gentle kiss against her forehead. They stood, lost in each other until Sandy's mother coughed impatiently and they discovered that family pictures were in order. Bill and Kirsten were graciously allowed to be in a couple of photos before being relegated to the sidelines whilst every possible composition of Cohens was photographed.

'Would you mind watching these two for a minute,' Bill asked a while later, 'I gotta head to the bathroom.'

'Uh…' Kirsten began nervously but her brother-in-law didn't seem to notice her reluctance, manoeuvring the pushchair beside her and propelling his daughter with it.

'Thanks,' he said before disappearing into the crowds.

'Oh God,' Kirsten muttered glancing frantically from the moody four-year-old to the baby who was currently awake and therefore ten times more terrifying than he had been the night before.

'I'm bored,' whined Massie, sitting down on the tarmac.

'Massie, please don't sit on the ground, you'll get all dirty,' Kirsten pleaded to no avail, the little girl ignoring her completely. 'Uh…how about we go sit back on the chairs just there?'

Without an answer Massie flounced off to sit on the nearest row of chairs, Kirsten attempting to follow but the pram refused to move. She tried to force it for a moment, jerking forwards, much to Max's displeasure, before realising with a rush of warm embarrassment that the brakes were locked on. Glancing around she hurriedly flicked them off and hushing the child inside, pushed the chair cautiously to where Massie was waiting.

'Not long now,' she told her, 'then you can go back to Grandma's and have tea.'

'It's _Nana_ not Grandma,' was the curt response.'

'Oh, well, go back to your Nana's for tea. What's your favourite food?'

The child glared at her, 'I'm not talking to you.'

Kirsten gave another soft, 'Oh,' before being distracted by Max. Whilst Massie might be giving her the silent treatment, Max was making his discontent known; his grizzling rising in volume.

'Hey Maxi,' Kirsten cooed awkwardly, leaning into the pram. 'What you making all that noise for?'

The baby, confronted with a stranger, began to cry. Kirsten's face fell. 'Please don't cry,' she begged, reaching in to rub the soft cheek, '_please_.'

These entreaties didn't have the desired effect; the cries becoming louder. She looked round helplessly; Bill was nowhere in sight, the Cohen clan were now a good distance away, still engrossed in their pictures and greeting friends, and Massie was steadfastly ignoring her.

'Ma-ax,' she crooned, gently rolling the pram back and forth in the hope it would soothe him. No such luck. Oh no, at this rate she was actually going to have to attempt to pick him up. 'There's a good boy, mummy will be back soon, I promise.'

Max shifted pitch, cries becoming wails and the impromptu nanny bit her lip. 'Massie,' she tried desperately, '_Massie_! Look, I'm really sorry about earlier, that I upset you, scared you…'

'Wasn't scared.'

'That I hurt your arm then.'

'Didn't hurt.'

'Well, I'm still sorry. I _was_ scared, that you'd get hurt and your mom and g-Nana would be really, really mad with me.'

'They don't like you anyway.'

'Yeah…and I'd rather not make it worse.'

'You're sorry?'

'Really sorry.'

'O.K. You're forgiven.'

'Thank you. Now _please_ help me make your brother stop crying, what do I do?'

'You don't know what to do?'

'No.'

'I thought you were having a baby.'

'I am but…please?'

Massie looked at Kirsten in askance for a moment before standing on tip-toe and peeping into the pram. 'Peek-a-boo Max,' she shrieked, ducking out of sight and then back again, 'peek-a-boo!'

This gave a brief respite where Kirsten could breathe several deep sighs of relief as Max quietened, chuckling a little at his sister's antics. However the baby was hot, tired and hungry and a game of peek-a-boo wasn't enough to settle him in the long-term. Much to Kirsten's anguish, several minutes later the baby began shrieking again and wouldn't be quietened. She looked desperately at Massie who shrugged.

'You're gonna have to pick him up or he'll just get louder.'

Silencing a groan Kirsten reached tentatively into the pram, almost as though she expected to be bitten, and slowly lifted Max up and into her arms, breathing a giant sigh of relief when she managed not to drop him. She sat awkwardly on a chair and rocked woodenly. Max responded by increasing the volume of his cries by a notch.

---

Covertly watching what was happening was Sophie Cohen, smirking slightly at her daughter-in-law's struggle between her 'proud mother of the graduate' activities. Sandy was the next to notice his wife's discomfort but his mother caught his arm when he tried to sidle off. 'She's got to learn,' she pointed out.

'Like this? Leaving her with a screaming baby? That's really gonna help her confidence.'

'Oh so you've noticed how nervous she is.'

'I'm not stupid.'

'And?'

'And what?'

'That girl is not going to make a suitable mother for your children, what are you going to do about it?'

'Kirsten will be fine.'

'Well in that case, let her prove it; stay here.'

'Ma…'

'There's nothing like hands-on experience.'

Sandy chewed on his lip, glancing from his mother to his flustered wife and back again. 'But…'

'Yes?'

'There'll be two of us.'

'Not all the time. Just let her struggle, I mean, _try_ for a little while. Then we'll see if she has the makings of a decent mother or if she comes over defeated.'

'You can't judge her on whether she can stop Max crying,' her son argued.

'I can and I will.'

'Will what?' Jess asked, appearing beside them. 'Oh, Max is getting stroppy, I'll be right back.'

Sophie repeated her earlier tactic and prevented her daughter from leaving. 'You stay here, I'm doing an experiment.'

'What?'

'She's testing Kirsten.'

'With Max?'

'Why not?'

'That's cruel on both of them,' Jess said, surprisingly kindly.

'Don't be so pathetic,' her mother snapped, 'it's not gonna hurt him. You leave him to cry usually.'

'That's different.'

'When you can tell me how it's different I'll let you go,' was the response, Sophie demonstrating the steely hold she still had over her children by the fact they both folded their arms angrily but didn't move.

'Oh for God's sake mother,' Jess complained when her son's cries became gratingly audible even from a distance and people began muttering. Both she and Sandy headed towards the source of disturbance leaving their mother defeated behind them.

'I'm so sorry,' Kirsten sighed as Jess relieved her of the screaming bundle that was her nephew.

Mindful of her brother's close proximity, Jess bit her tongue. 'It's alright. He'll be fine once he's eaten.'

'I didn't mean to…'

'You don't have to explain anything, just…take some pre-natal classes okay?'

Kirsten flushed and nodded as Sandy rushed towards her. 'Aw sweetie, I'm sorry my mom was being…'

'Yes Sanford?' The Nana's voice cut in.

'Nothing ma.' He reached for Kirsten's hand and squeezed it, saying everything that needed to be said. 'Things will be different with ours,' he whispered, 'I promise.' She wasn't sure she believed that. All babies cry, but she wasn't about to refuse her husband's reassurance. Or ignore her sister-in-law's suggestion.

---

---

Sooo, wazzup?

---


	7. 7

Commencement Exercises

---

Well, well, well here we are again!

---

7

Several hundred snaps and a raucous walk home later they were back at the apartment. Massie seemed to have fully forgiven her aunt, holding her hand all the way home, much to Sandy's jealousy. On arrival the Nana disappeared into the kitchen and Sandy volunteered his services there. Kirsten knew better than to follow suit and sat a little awkwardly watching Bill feed Max and Jess help Massie with her knife and fork until her sister-in-law took pity on her.

'How about you come help with bath time?' she offered.

'Um…'

'Good experience.'

Kirsten smiled ruefully. 'Yeah, okay.'

In the event all she ended up doing was learning how to test the water temperature with her elbow and then playing with Massie as she had a sea battle in the bath. Bill and Jess bathed their son. They then handed him over to a silently screaming Kirsten whilst they fought with Massie who did not want to get out of the bath at all costs. The small bathroom became even more crowded once Massie was finally out of bath and hopping around crossly so she slid out pleading with the baby not to cry. No such luck; Max did not appreciate being held by this anxious stranger.

'Sandy?' Kirsten called nervously, jogging the baby on her hip awkwardly. 'Sandy?'

He heard her voice amidst the baby's squalls and hurried into the hallway.

'I really don't think he likes me,' she whimpered, eyes betraying the joke.

Sandy reached for Max who immediately settled down in his Uncle's arms and began to gurgle. 'You've got to relax honey,' he told her. 'Babies don't like to feel as though you're about to drop them.'

Kirsten sighed. 'You're gonna be such a wonderful father…and me, our kid's gonna hate me.'

'Aw no, come on sweetie,' he reasoned with her, leaning over Max's head to kiss his wife. 'You will be just fine. Think how much Massie likes you.'

As if on cue Massie appeared from the bathroom and sidled up to her. 'Mommy said you would read me a story Auntie K.'

'Auntie K' smiled and took the proffered hand. 'Sure thing sweetie, what would you like?'

She glanced back at her husband as the little girl drew her away; he was smiling as if to say 'see'. She smiled back. At least one of them was good with babies. Too bad that bit came first.

---

Half an hour later the children were in bed and dinner was ready. It was obviously too much to ask for to have two peaceful dinners in a row because it was hellish from the moment they all sat down. The Nana began by pointing out what each person had done to help. 'Sandy grilled the steaks, Bill has folded the napkins, Jess made a cheesecake for desert and Kirsten…well, Kirsten has graced us with her presence.'

Her daughter-in-law flushed. 'I would have helped it's just I didn't want to ruin the special dinner.'

'Yes, you do have a point. However it would have been polite.'

Kirsten sighed, she knew she couldn't win.

The digs, increasingly unsubtle, continued throughout the meal leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. Jess seemed to be restraining herself, only occasionally agreeing with her mother but Sandy seemed oblivious to it all. It wasn't that she minded; she was trying her hardest to ignore her mother-in-law as well, but a sympathetic smile every now and then wouldn't go amiss.

Dave was the only other person who seemed to pick up on how uncomfortable things were getting. She was steeling herself to stay put, desperately watching the clock and willing this painful charade to be over when he suddenly burst out, interrupting his mother's latest tirade.

'Stop picking on Kirsten, this is my graduation dinner. I don't want any fights.'

'Davey,' Sandy cautioned.

'Don't,' he retorted to his brother. 'You're not sticking up for her and she's your _wife_. You let ma walk all over her just like she does you.'

He stood up.

'Where do you think you're going?' Sophie asked, eyes narrowed.  
'I have a party to go to.'

Davey, please don't,' Kirsten spoke up for the first time. 'Please, sit down and finish dinner.'

'Why do you let them do this? Why do you think they're better than you, that you have to be submissive?'

'I-I don't…'

'No, Kirsten thinks _she _is better than us.'

'Ma! For one night can't you at least be civil? I'll finish dinner because Kirsten asked and then I'm going.'

The meal continued in silence, Dave shovelling food into his mouth as quickly as possible, the Nana eating as though she didn't have a care in the world and Sandy pushing his dinner aimlessly round his plate. No one commented when several tears fell, rather obviously, into Kirsten's gravy. Immediately after dessert Dave left without saying goodbye and Kirsten tried to repair relations by offering to doing the washing up.

'If you're sure you won't break a nail,' Sophie responded.

'Ma,' Sandy warned and his wife turned to him.

'Just don't bother Sandy.'

'What?'

'You know.'

Jess and Bill looked awkward and Sophie frankly excited by the idea of a domestic about to blow up in the kitchen.

'What?' Sandy looked round at his family questioningly. Bill hurriedly excused himself whilst Jess rolled her eyes at her brother.

'Dave's right Sandy. I might not be Kirsten's biggest fan but even I think you let mom go too far.'

'Jessica!' Sophie chastised.'

'Sorry ma but you know it's true. You love giving her a hard time.'

Sophie gave a loud 'humph' but didn't deny it.

'Let's give them a bit of privacy,' Jess continued, dragging her mother out of the kitchen, much to Mrs Cohen's annoyance.

Kirsten had been at the sink throughout this exchange and didn't turn round, continuing to wash the crockery in hurt silence.

'Sweetheart…'

No answer.

'Honey?'

If he thought she was gonna respond to that he had another thing coming.

'Kirsten baby?'

'Just dry the dishes Sandy.'

He sighed, moving to the draining board and doing as she ordered. After several minutes of silence he was getting antsy. 'Kirsten?' he tried again.

'Mmm?

He sidled closer to her. 'I'm sorry.'

'Yeah me too. Sorry I came.'

'Darling…she doesn't mean it.'

'Firstly she does and secondly I don't care about your mother.'

'You don't?'

'No. I can live with that, even at the moment when it upsets me more than usual. What annoys me is the fact the rest of your family notice how horrible she is to me and yet you just let it go, don't even mention it. I know it's not your fault and I'm not expecting you to change it…you could just…acknowledge it more often, at least pretend to be on my side.'

'I am on your side.'

'Well it doesn't feel like it. I knew this was a bad idea.'

'What was?'

'Coming here. Your mother is getting exactly what she wanted. I knew she'd find some way to make us fight.'

'Aw come on, we're not fighting.'

'Yes we are.'

'Oh.'

'Look, I don't want to fight about this. I know my dad is just as awful, if not worse to you…'

'I get it. You always defend me to your father, try to protect me, and yet I more often than not just let my mother get away with everything.'

'I don't want to destroy your relationship with her any more than I have already I just…'

'It's okay, I can work things out with her.'

'Well, good luck with that, I'll see you in the next life.'

'Kirsten!'

'I was kidding.'

'Are we okay then?'

'Yeah. Despite your mother's best efforts.'

'I'm sorry.'

'You don't have to apologise any more.'

'How about I kiss you instead?'

'That works.'

And so he did.

---

It was the icy glares his mother was flashing in Kirsten's direction that made Sandy realise something was up, that and the numbness of his left arm which his wife was resting on. The conclusion was that she was asleep. He glanced at her and smiled lovingly at her sleeping face.

'Well Kirsten's beat,' he declared jovially. 'And she needs her sleep so I think I'll just take her to bed.'

No one answered, tired themselves, and Sandy bent over to scoop his wife into his arms. She mumbled incoherently and looped her arms around his neck. He loved how she did that, clung onto him even in her sleep.

Sandy's eyes met those of his mother over Kirsten's head as he carried her out of the room. Sophie was looking distinctly unimpressed and he had to control his temper. Kirsten was exhausted from carrying his mother's grandchild and from that damn uncomfortable sofa bed; she couldn't be blamed for falling asleep halfway through Bill's monologue about his business. Sandy had felt his own eyelids drooping.

She roused a little as Sandy set her down on the bed, removing most of her clothes before tucking her into it. 'Oh I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to fall asleep.'

'It's okay,' he hushed her. 'Close those pretty eyes again sweetie.' His wife nodded innocently, snuggling against him as she drifted off again and making it twice as hard to contemplate going back downstairs. After a moment's deliberation he stripped lethargically to his boxers and crawled in beside his wife, cuddling her close against him so they could both fit into the single bed, one hand cupping her bump, his thumb stroking it gently. Let his mother stew downstairs, there was no way he was moving.

---

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So, are we still all happy? Look out for some fireworks soon!

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	8. Graduation

Commencement Exercises

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Yeah, adding the smut in meant I had to resort to titling this with a word that fits but also doesn't!

This chapter is dedicated to PrincessSparkle because she worked out the title thing.

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Graduation

'I take it no one slept on the sofa last night,' was Sandy's mother's greeting the following morning.

Her son sighed and answered honestly, 'We were both really tired.'

'Uhu.'

'What's wrong now?'

'I don't like it, that's what.'

'We're perfectly capable of sharing a bed.'

'Yes, that much is evident.'

'What, so Jess is old enough to be a mother, twice over, yet I'm not ready to become a father?'

'I'm not worried about _you_.'

'Kirsten is gonna be a wonderful mother.'

'She's petrified Sandy, anyone can see that.'

'We've already discussed this.'

'Not to my satisfaction.'

'Huh, well I'm perfectly happy with that conversation. I'm happy with Kirsten, I'm happy with her being our child's mother, deal with it.'

'There's not much I can do about it is there?'

'No thank God.'

'Interesting you should say that.'

'What?'

'Talking of God…'

'Oh Lord!'

'Yes Sanford, have you thought about this child's upbringing?'

'A bit.'

'Obviously not enough.'

'Now as far as I'm concerned the West coast isn't exactly the most suitable place to raise a child…'

'It's as good as anywhere else.'

'I beg to disagree; far too much sun, exposure to the nonsense of Hollywood and a distinct lack of Jewish people.'

'There are Jews in California.'

'Half of the Rabbis are probably out of work actors.'

'Mother!'

'Just tell me have you and...' the Nana paused before continuing in order to emphasise her distaste once again, '…Kirsten discussed these things?'

'California is home Ma, Berkeley's a nice place, a good place to bring up kids.'

'Already planning more?'

'No, we'll just see what happens.'

'Mmmhmm, well I suppose it could be worse but the location isn't really what I'm worried about.'

'Oh, here we go.'

'Yes. Now, unless you can persuade that good-for-nothing wife of yours to convert within the next five months my grandchild won't be Jewish capiche?'

'Ma…'

'Have the pair of you talked about that?'

Sandy looked away, nodding ruefully.

'Fought about it?'

'Maybe.'

'Sore point?'

'With you around? Yes.'

'I just don't see why you couldn't choose a nice Jewish girl, or at least someone decent enough to convert. If she loves you as much as she says she does…'

'Kirsten loves me just fine. I don't want her to have to change for me and she doesn't want me to either.'

'You wouldn't.'

'I would if she asked.'

'Have you asked her?'

'It's not an issue Ma, religion isn't a big thing to us.'

'Then she won't mind…'

'I would mind.'

'So this poor child is going to be a Christian then is it?'

'You know there are plenty of people who consider themselves Jewish without having a Jewish mother.'

'Consider being the operative word.'

'Are you going to hold this against us all?'

'Perhaps.'

'We thought…he or she could be both.'

'_Both_?'

'Let them experience both and then choose, or maybe just never choose; be both.'

'You can't just pick and mix religions as you go along. Thank how confused your kid will be; he won't know whether he's coming or going or who he is.'

'I don't think being one religion or another makes it any easier to find yourself, maybe having two might be better; you get the best of both worlds.'

'You're such an optimist.'

'The child is part of both of us so he or she should share both traditions.'

'So I take it I'll have invites to both a christening and a naming ceremony, First communion and Bar Mitzvah?' Sophie Cohen asked, her voice hard with mocking sarcasm. 'Will the poor child have to fast for both Rosh Hashanah _and_ Lent? Should I send Christmas or Hanukah presents?'

'Ma, don't be like that.'

'I'm just asking.'

'You can do what you want.'

'Fine. I'll make sure my grandchild is the most Jewish half-Jew in history.'

Sandy heaved a sigh; he felt sorry for their child already, maybe he and Kirsten should have eloped after all. Right on cue his wife stepped timidly into the kitchen and was immediately met by a pointed, faux-friendly greeting from her mother-in-law.

'Oh there you are Kirsten. Did you sleep well?'

'Yes, thank you.'

'You want any breakfast sweetheart?' Sandy cut in, preventing his mother continuing.

'I couldn't…thanks.'

'Just as well seeing as it's nearly lunch time.'

They both ignored her.

'Still not feeling so good.'

'Not really…um…Sandy, can I talk to your mom a minute…alone?'

'Think you're asking the wrong person there,' the Nana commented.

Her husband drew his large eyebrows together in surprise at his wife's request but complied, giving his mother a look on the way past that plainly said 'be nice or else'.

'And don't stand outside the door eavesdropping,' Kirsten added as he left.

'Mrs Cohen?' Her mother-in-law was busying herself over the stove and didn't turn round.

'Yes?' she said impatiently.

'I just wanted to apologise, for falling asleep last night. I know it was really rude of me and I'm sorry.'

'I'm just sorry our conversation isn't highbrow enough to keep you awake.'

'It was a long day and I'm really tired these days. That's the truth and that's my apology, you can take it or leave it.'

'How charitable of you.'

'I know what you're doing?'

'What's that?'

'Trying to get under my skin.'

'Oh really?'

'Yeah. Make Sandy and me as insecure as you possibly can, rile me enough to make me want to ask Sandy to choose between us, use the fact I'm pregnant to make me more emotional than I already am.

'You're very suspicious.'

'I'm not stupid.'

'What can I say? The day you married my son you came into the line of fire, can you handle that?'

'Sandy thinks he has to protect me from you, but you know what? I can hold my own if I have to.'

'Is that a threat Kirsten?'

'No, of course not. I'm just saying, fight with me all you want, it's not gonna change anything.'

'You're very confident young lady.'

'I'm never going to ask Sandy to choose between us; that's not fair…'

'Oh I think he's already made that choice.'

'We're here aren't we?'

'Under duress.'

'Sandy loves you.'

'Loves antagonising me.'

'He antagonises everyone. Look, all I'm saying is that I can't help him loving me and you're not gonna stop me loving him.'

'And I'm also not going to be able to stop him from loving you, that's plain to see. But it doesn't mean I have to like you.'

'I'm not saying you have to like me, or anything remotely near it, just please don't take it out on Sandy simply because he loves me.'

'I had no intention of taking out my dislike on Sandy…'

'Well you do, always harping on at him about me.'

'That's just voicing my concerns.'

'It upsets him you know.'

'He can stand it; he had a tough upbringing, none of the pampering you had.'

'I'm not going to defend my childhood or my family to you. I don't have to.'

'And I don't have to like you or you me.'

'I don't…not like you.'

'Come on Kirsten, I'm not a fool. I don't like you and the feeling's mutual.'

'But…you're Sandy's mom so in a way I can't dislike you. If it wasn't for you he wouldn't be here.'

'Any other reasons to like me?'

'Uh…'

'That settles it. We can be perfectly happy not liking each other.'

'I-I guess.'

'Do we have a deal? I begrudge you your place and you can begrudge me mine. It means we don't have to waste time pretending to be nice to each other.'

'Well…'

'What?'

'What about…'

'Yes?'

'What about our kids?' Kirsten smoothed a hand across her bump, 'I want you to like them, to be their grandma ungrudgingly.'

'Don't be so pathetic Kirsten, of course I'm going to like them. They're Cohens.'

'You know, I'm a Cohen now. Even though you don't want me to be.'

'In name perhaps, yes. Legally, by a scrap of paper. Blood is what matters Kirsten. Cohen-blood.'

'Fine. I'm a Cohen to Sandy though.'

'To Sandy you're everything and I can't seem to persuade him otherwise.'

'And even though they're not gonna be properly Jewish…?'

'Oh so _you_ were eavesdropping.'

Kirsten blushed furiously, 'I couldn't help overhearing. You know, we have thought about it a lot and this is the easiest way.'

'I guess I'll have to live with it, you could easily deny me a grandchild.'

'I wouldn't. You're welcome any time.'

'You say that because you know I hate visiting California.'

'The offer still stands.'

'As does mine. I won't hold you being their mother against my grandchildren. What do you say?'

'You're a hard woman, but you have your deal.'

'This stays between us mind.'

'Of course.'

'Now, get out of my kitchen, I don't want you destroying lunch.'

'Thanks Mrs Cohen.'

'Sophie.'

'Huh?'

'I may not like you in the slightest but I think I can cope with you calling me Sophie.'

'OK…Sophie.'

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	9. Epilogue

Commencement Exercises

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Here we are, the final hurdle. Can I get a final hurrah? I'm now bowing out of the arena for 2 weeks (let some other people single-handedly fill up the OC page of ff . net!) but I will be busy sorting out MIBTW. So on my return I will be focussing on that and whatever you guys want! This chapter is dedicated to Kazzie because she also figured out the title thing.

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Epilogue

A couple of hours later they were ready to leave. Jess and family had already departed and Dave had reappeared to say brief goodbyes before going back to his bedroom to crash. 'Take care Kirsten,' the Nana told her, making Sandy smile. However, Sophie Cohen wasn't about to give in that easily, 'of my son and grandchild,' she added quietly as she hugged her daughter-in-law. Kirsten sighed, Sandy's mom really was something.

'Oh I will,' she promised sweetly, meeting the other woman's eyes and matching her gaze for a moment. The Nana's lip twitched and she winked quickly before turning to her son and lavishing him with affection and criticism in equal measure.

'So you're escaping back West Sanford? Well you behave yourself out there.'

'Yes Ma.'

'Morals shift with the time difference, just you remember that.'

'Yes Ma.'

'Look after the future little Cohen.'

'I will.'

'Keep an eye on that wife of yours…'

'_Ma_!'

'And don't forget to call your poor mother when you get home so she can stop worrying.'

'Worrying? Please! You'd probably say I deserved to meet with an accident just for living in California.'

'Don't exaggerate. Now get on with you before you miss that plane,' Sophie snapped, kissing her son loudly on both cheeks before hustling them out the door.

'Bye Ma, love you too!'

The Nana smiled and began to shut the door behind them. 'Just you make sure the cabby doesn't overcharge you on the way to the airport.'

---

It was a month or so later when another letter with a New York postmark appeared on their doormat. Kirsten was surprised to see that the bulky envelope was addressed to the both of them in the Nana's angular handwriting. With a slight trepidation she slid a nail under the flap and shook out the contents; a short note and a set of photographs.

'_Thought you might like these,_' read the former. '_All is well here, which you would know if you bothered to call once in a while. I hope Kirsten is taking her vitamins. Sophie._'

Kirsten shook her head at her mother-in-law's bluntness and guiltily reached for the ante-natal vitamins on the countertop. Then she spread the photographs out across the kitchen table, smiling at the memories. It hadn't been _that_ bad a weekend, she reasoned, marvelling at how much her bump had grown in the past few weeks. It was hard to correlate the neat rise of her stomach in the photographs with the belly that was currently keeping her several inches from the table.

Engrossed in the pictures she didn't hear her husband's arrival, jumping as she felt his arms slip around her waist, or rather, where her waist used to be.

'What's all this?' he asked, kissing the back of her neck before leaning over her shoulder to read his mother's letter.

'Did you take your vitamins this morning?'

His wife blushed, 'Yes…well, this afternoon, after your mom reminded me.'

Sandy laughed and squeezed her a little tighter, scanning the array of pictures.

His brother looking sheepishly proud in his cap and gown.

He, his mom and brother and sister all grinning for the camera.

The whole family grouped together around the graduate.

One in particular caught his eye and he picked it up to look at it closely.

'Did my mother take all these?' he asked uncertainly.

'Yeah I think so. She was the only one with a camera as far as I remember.'

Her husband nodded, still transfixed by the photo. Kirsten knew why he'd asked. The picture was of her and Sandy stood alone, obviously waiting while other photos were being taken, utterly unaware that they were being photographed themselves. They were stood close together, almost facing each other. One of Kirsten's hands was up at her husband's shoulder, the other not visible, wrapped around him, her face tilted up towards him, smiling with her eyes closed. Sandy was kissing Kirsten's forehead, a look of pure adoration on his face, one arm around Kirsten's shoulders, his other hand resting lightly on her bump. It was a beautiful photograph; love caught on film. What was surprising was that Sophie Cohen had taken it.

Maybe she didn't begrudge their love after all.

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Hope you enjoyed that! PLEASE let me know which of my fics I should be focusing on next!

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